Holding onto resentment can be so unhealthy. These feelings can affect our lives in a unpleasant manner. I am going to give you guys my advise on releasing those feelings through my own experience.
I am about to get real personal as I take you on a quick emotional journey. I am a bit embarrassed to share some of this, but I’m opening up so you all can relate if you endure resentment of any kind. My purpose is to make you realize that when your feeling badly hurt you know you can heal. I share this to help everyone stay positive when they feel lost. Or when your down you will see things do get better. I promise you. Most of my posts are funny, but there is a time to be non humorous and it is now.
Recently I have experienced a great deal of resentment. After my divorce I was going through a terrible time emotionally. I wondered if I could even allow myself to love again. This was a 15 year relationship I was trying to get past. My husband pulled out of the marriage, but my heart was still very much in it as I considered marriage a life time commitment. It took almost about a year after my husband was gone, I felt like I was being rescued from a hurt, dark, confused time when a man came into my life and my heart was so warmly sparked again. I was able to feel love, express and give it once again. I thought my heart was closed to this. My emotions were perplexed, I was caught off guard and nervous because this came rather unexpected. Sadly, after about two years of trying to make that relationship work we came to a very bitter ending. I was torn to pieces. I gave him everything I could possibly think of including the idea of children as we even tried.. So when we just could not make it work I became very closed off, highly depressed and pretty much shut down with my own internal will or desire for love. Resentment had totally taken control over me.
As resentment consumed me I never knew I could cry so very much. The crying was for the 10-year-old me who couldn’t understand why her father never loved her. The tears kept pouring asking why my husband abandoned me in the marriage, and they intensified as I questioned how could my last lover hurt me so much.
As I cried and cried I knew I had a ridiculously loving heart. A heart I am so proud of because even though I have been so hurt it still remains so loving and pure. I called to God. I knew God was by my side giving me strength. Part of my strength is knowing what my tears tell me.. My tears show me I am a wonderful, caring woman. A woman who loved so much her heart was able to carry scars. If I never loved or cared I would not have these tears along with these feelings. I was so hurt rethinking and replaying …how could these men be so mean. Lies, betrayal and deceit, these men lost their concept of morality.. But their actions are not in my control. I knew these men were lying and it hurt so very much!! I could not cope with it. I knew with both of those relationships I had to let go. I was being severely trampled on and no one should be treated this way. They mistook my kind heart for being weak, took me for granted, did whatever they wanted for their own benefit while disregarding me as a loving woman by their side. (this abuse is another whole separate topic to touch one day) I knew that I would hurt without them, but I was hurting so much with them. None of that was easy for me. Many nights I prayed for my tears to lessen. I cry about my pain as well as these people. I have learned to forgive most people for the hurts they inflicted as holding that in doesn’t hurt anyone but myself. I know that God will deal with those people especially if they do not make right their wrongs with the ones they hurt. God will ask them “why”? I am talking about anyone on earth that wrongs others. I am not just talking specifically my past relationships, although I am sure the same will apply. I prayed for my heart to seek forgiveness. Do not get me wrong forgiveness is not a sign of weakness. Because you forgive does not mean your condoning the other persons actions. It is a way to close a door. It makes you the better person. I know I have hurt no one and when it is my time I will go out from this earth very proud of who I am!
I am very intuitive and feel I have somewhat of a sixth sense. Often I connect to others like myself. In the event I feel that the connection is choppy and some people need me in their lives for healing or guidance I believe God puts me there for a reason. Could it be I have helped these men? I know I have in many ways. I have always had that kind of helping personality, but it has become more prevalent as time moves on. So here I am placed to share my great healing message to all of you suffering from being hurt and carrying these powerful emotions of resentment. I know it’s not easy, but hang in there time will heal most. Very importantly I want you to express yourself in full, love yourself, gain strength and confidence. Talk about your feelings to friends. Know that it ‘s ok to be hurt. It shows your a loving person. Love yourself for it! Let your wounds turn to proud scars. Embrace that your stronger for what you have went through. Take everything as a learning experience.
When we forgive we can alleviate our resentment. It can be very unhealthy to hold in resentment. It may turn to anger, negativity and you could change how you look at life. I know the effects of resentment impacted my attitude. I had become very reserved and that’s not me. It can also affect your sleep patterns also which we all know is not healthy at all. I am not saying that you must let go and forgive someone who hurts you as soon as it happens. There are stages of emotions you will need to allow yourself to process. You let emotions of hurt, anger, and sadness all pass. Its natural. Then with some passing time you must turn it to God and let it off your chest. Or it will interrupt your life.. you won’t smile every day like you want. Let no one take your smile! Love is the very reason we are all here. Nothing or No one shall take that from your soul. 🙂 Love and you will be loved…
If anyone of you need me I will be here for you to express yourself… Help you to process your emotional stages and gain the strength to let go. Feel free to comment.